Rainer Maria Rilke: Thoughts on Marriage

52 years and cherishing every moment…

I recently read Letters to a Young Poet, by the Austrian poet, Rainer Maria Rilke, and found it full of warmth and wisdom. I was particularly touched by his thoughts on marriage that were included in one of the ten letters he wrote the young poet. After 52 years of marriage, I thought he eloquently expressed our own truth.

The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development. But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky.

Rainer Maria Rilke, 1875-1926

Hamnet

 

If I had to write a one-word review of Maggie O’Farrell’s book, Hamnet, I would simply say “Wow.”  I would write more if I could stop crying, but I was powerfully moved by this story, and it’s going to stay with me for a long time. And it’s okay to cry.

It is a story about grief…so beautifully described, so honestly told. It is the story of William Shakespeare’s son, Hamnet, and his death at age 11. It was a devastating death for his family, as such a loss would be for any family, and the author includes you as one who feels the loss intensely.

How were they to know that Hamnet was the pin holding them together? That without him they would all fragment and fall apart, like a cup shattered on the floor?

Read it. The writing is mesmerizing, beautiful, gripping, profound. But be prepared to cry, because you become totally immersed in the emotional honesty of this world created by Maggie O’Farrell. And then read Shakespeare’s Hamlet again, from a new vantage point, which is what I am going to do now.

“Now cracks a noble heart. Good-night, sweet prince;
And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest. ”

My husband’s copy of Hamlet…with post-it notes

 

Classics Club Spin #26


It’s time for Classics Club Spin #26!”  Here’s how it works for members of The Classics Club.

At your blog, before Sunday 18th April, 2021, create a post that lists twenty books of your choice that remain “to be read” on your Classics Club list. (Click here to see my list of 50 books to read in 5 years.)

This is your Spin List.

You have to read one of these twenty books by the end of the spin period.

On Sunday 18th, April, we’ll post a number from 1 through 20. The challenge is to read whatever book falls under that number on your Spin List by the 31st May, 2021.

Please check back here soon to see which of these books I will be reading for this new Classics Club Spin!

  1. Night, Elie Wiesel
  2. Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry, Mildred D. Taylor
  3. The Gaucho Martin Fierro, José Hernández
  4. The Living Reed, Pearl S. Buck
  5. The Fire Next Time, James Baldwin
  6. The Snow Leopard, Peter Matthiessen
  7. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, Betty Smith
  8. Ruth, Elizabeth Gaskell
  9. The Living Reed, Pearl S. Buck
  10. The House of the Spirits, Isabel Allende
  11. A Raisin in the Sun, Lorraine Hansberry
  12. The Living Reed, Pearl S. Buck
  13. A Room of One’s Own, Virginia Woolf
  14. The Living Reed, Pearl S. Buck
  15. The Book of Tea, Kazuko Okakura
  16. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, Betty Smith
  17. The Living Reed, Pearl S. Buck
  18. Barchester Towers, Anthony Trollope
  19. The Living Reed, Pearl S. Buck
  20. Akenfield: Portrait of an English Village, Ronald Blythe

I Cherish… #4

Pam and me on the rollercoaster, 1965.

I cherish… my best friend, Pam. We met on the first day of school in 7th grade, in band class. We both played the flute, were seated next to each other, and discovered we were both wearing essentially the same outfit. After a moment of hysterical laughter (forgive us, Mr. Bird!), we proceeded to become best friends. For a lifetime!

Pam sitting on my parents’ memorial bench. She visited it when we were unable to travel to visit it ourselves during quarantine 2020.

There have been times when we’ve been out of touch for awhile, but the minute we get back in communication, the friendship picks up right where it left off.  Since the COVID-19 quarantine started in 2020, we’ve been visiting each other by Zoom. It’s been delightful to ignore the miles between us and the pandemic that keeps friends and families separated, and just visit and laugh on Saturday mornings.

We cherish our shared memories of family members now gone. We cherish our memories of our teenage years and the “capers” and adventures we shared. We cherish the unconditional love and support we have given each other through all the ages and stages. I can’t wait until we can travel once again so that I can visit my buddy, Pam, and give her a great big hug.

Best friends.

 

The word I chose to guide me through the year 2021 is CHERISH. I am keeping this word ever present in my mind, every day, and I thought I’d start sharing with you some of the people and daily kinds of things I am cherishing right now.

Letters to a Young Poet

Letters to a Young Poet, by Rainer Maria Rilke, is a gem of a book. It consists of ten letters written to a young man who wrote to Rilke for advice on how to become a successful poet. These ten letters revealed the heart and soul of Rilke himself, and all were full of wisdom about finding what you are passionate about in life and living true to that vision.

Rilke’s first response to the young poet was to tell him that he should not look outside himself for advice…

Now (as you have permitted me to advise you) I beg you to give all that up. You are looking outwards, and of all things that is what you must now not do. Nobody can advise and help you, nobody. There is only one single means. Go inside yourself. Discover the motive that bids you write; examine whether it sends its roots down to the deepest places of your heart, confess to yourself whether you would have to die if writing were denied you. This before all: ask yourself in the quietest hour of your night: must I write? Dig down into yourself for a deep answer.

As the correspondence between the two men continued, the conversations became even more heartfelt, and were beautiful exchanges about life and living, growing and becoming, as both an artist and a human being.

In one of the early letters, Rilke recommended an author he admired and suggested the young poet read those works. I loved that sharing a favorite book was important to him, and his explanation of how that book had touched his life was quite wonderful…

Get hold of the little volume called Six Tales by J. P. Jacobsen, and his novel Niels Lyhne, and start with the first story in the former book, which is called Mogens. A world will come over you, the happiness, the wealth, the inconceivable greatness of a world. Live for a while in these books, learn from them what seems to you worth learning, but above all love them. Your love will be repaid a thousand thousandfold, and whatever your life may become,—will, I am convinced, run through the texture of your growing as one of the most important threads among all the threads of your experiences, disappointments and joys.

One more nugget of gold about Life:

So you must not be frightened if a sadness rises up before you larger than any you have ever seen; if a restiveness, like light and cloudshadows, passes over your hands and over all you do. You must think that something is happening with you, that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand; it will not let you fall. Why do you want to shut out of your life any uneasiness, any miseries, or any depressions? For after all, you do not know what work these conditions are doing inside you.”

This book is a little treasure that I will return to many times because his beautiful writing and his wise words touch my heart.

I chose this book for my 50 books in 5 years for The Classics Club.

 

Hanok: The Korean House

My husband is a retired architect, so we are always interested in finding wonderful ‘coffee-table books’ about different architectural styles, projects, etc. So we were both excited when I found a book about the historical and traditional Korean house. Hanok: The Korean House, by Nani Park and Robert J. Fouser is full of gorgeous photographs and very interesting information about the traditional Hanok and the modern updated versions that are so popular right now in Seoul. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and learned a lot about both historical and modern Korean culture.  

From the author:

My aim in this book is to expand readers’ awareness of Korea by adding another word, one that is an integral part of Korean architectural history and, with it, culture. The word is hanok and it refers to the traditional wooden house structure that originated in the Joseon Dynasty in the late fourteenth century.

From the publisher:

Hanok: The Korean House provides new insights on the stylish traditional Korean homes that are experiencing a resurgence of popularity in Seoul today. While the exteriors of these houses are indistinguishable from traditional hanok built decades ago, the insides have entirely changed and adapted with the times. Korea is a nation that has radically transformed itself in recent decades, yet amidst the glass-and-steel skyscrapers and luxury apartments, the Korean design of the hanok still survives and plays a surprisingly important role. This book showcases 12 very special hanok that have been selected to reflect the Korea of today.

The original hanok design has not changed. Traditional craftsman-made materials of stone, wood, and clay are still the only components used in these houses. They also incorporate natural elements such as wind and sunlight, and baesanimsu(better known in its Chinese form as feng shui) is used to position the hanok in harmony with the natural forces and geographical features of the site. Each hanok has a unique story to tell, and this book studies the personality of each house from the point of view of its owners, many of whom are talented devotees of Korean architecture themselves.

The photographs in this book are just beautiful. Two favorite examples are below.

I also loved the names given to many of the Hanoks. Here are two examples that I thought were wonderful.

We have a huge old Cedar tree in the corner of our yard, and I immediately thought that we should name our house, “House Cherishing an Old Cedar Tree as a Lifelong Friend.”

This is a fun read for anyone who enjoys reading about architecture or looking at house books of all kinds, and for anyone who is interested in Korean culture.

The Bukchon Hanok Village, a neighborhood in Seoul, South Korea.

Mrs. Pollifax and the Whirling Dervish

During the quarantine, I started rereading Dorothy Gilman’s Mrs. Pollifax series, a cozy mystery series I enjoyed reading many years ago. Mrs. Pollifax is an elderly lady who got bored with her orderly life of garden groups and tea with friends, and decides to join the CIA and do something more exciting with her life. Most people don’t get hired by the CIA by walking in and offering their services, but by a twist of fate, that’s what happened. Mrs. Pollifax, with her keen intelligence, little-old-lady look, and top form karate skills is the perfect spy!

In this 9th book in the series, Mrs. Pollifax and the Whirling Dervish, she is called on to travel to Morocco.

From the publisher:

All Mrs. Pollifax has to do is to masquerade as the aunt of an inept CIA representative while he confirms the identities of seven undercover agents in Morocco—and keep him from making an unpleasant ass of himself. Immediately, things go horribly wrong. The first informant is murdered minutes after Mrs. Pollifax and her companion identify him in his brassware stall in Fez. Worse, she senses that her colleague is not who—or what—he says he is.

As in all the Mrs. Pollifax books, author Dorothy Gilman sends her character into different cultures and situations. We travel along to learn a little about each culture, and the respectful research done into each of them always makes for an enjoyable journey. These books are just plain fun, and they are extra fun when you listen to the audiobook version, narrated by Barbara Rosenblat!

 

I chose this book to read for my personal challenge, “Wanderlust,” an effort to read books that are from or take place in each country of the world. This was a story that takes place in Morocco.